From Relationship Tension to Task Tension
by John W. Gunkler

from LEVERAGE, No. 32


Copyright © 1999 Pegasus Communications, Inc. (www.pegasuscom.com). All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, without written permission from Pegasus Communications, Inc. If you wish to distribute copies of this article, please contact our Permissions Department at 781-398-9700 or permissions@pegasuscom.com.

The ability to work and learn as a team is an essential component of organizational learning, but the anxiety of meeting new people and getting used to their working styles can often hinder productivity. Some strain is inevitable at the beginning of any new working relationship—this is what is known as relationship tension. When experiencing relationship tension, people may wonder what is expected of them in their new role. They may question whether other members of the group will listen to and respect their views.

But only when relationship tension subsides can another, more productive, kind of tension take its place—task tension. Task tension is the positive feeling that an individual or group feels when there is an interesting job to accomplish. This kind of energy usually builds as people work together on a problem, reaching a peak as they approach the solution.

So, the first task for a newly formed group is to reduce relationship tension. This involves making introductions, establishing trust, resolving potential conflicts, and settling pre-existing arguments. Only then can the group use task tension to focus on its objectives and get the job done. Two keys for reducing relationship tension are establishing trustworthiness and L-S-C-P-A: Listen, Share, Clarify, Present, and Ask.

Establishing Trustworthiness
To reduce relationship tension, all team members need to work on earning each other's trust. Research has shown that the two most important factors in creating initial trust are intentions and commonality.

In forming trust, it is important to make a credible case that your intentions are honorable—that is, that you are not out to succeed at the expense of the rest of the group. One technique for doing so is to be explicit about "what's in this for me." A second, even more powerful way is to make promises and keep them. Promise to be on time for the next meeting, and do it. Promise to send someone information, then do so right away. A third method is to encourage your new coworkers to "check you out" with former colleagues or to show them the results of a similar project that you successfully completed.

The second most important element in forming initial trust is the mutual discovery that you and your new coworkers have something in common. This sense of commonality can be found in a variety of areas—in your interests, habits, ways of dress, manner of speech, or family experiences. For example, take care to speak in a manner that places other people at ease. And take the time to share personal experiences in areas of common interest instead of just getting right down to business. But spend only as much time on "bonding" as the other people wish to. The goal is to maximize their comfort in your presence

L-S-C-P-A
Sometimes something happens that causes relationship tension to flare up—a disagreement occurs, trust seems to be violated, or two people come into conflict. When that happens, it is helpful to intervene immediately to reduce relationship tension. One way to do so is to follow the formula L-S-C-P-A:

Listen: Actively listen for the feelings that lie behind what the person is saying.

Share: Restate, in your words, what the other person is feeling and saying.

Clarify: First ask permission to go deeper into the situation. Then ask both fact-finding and feeling-finding questions. Use tools like the Ladder of Inference to clarify when people are talking about data, meanings, assumptions, conclusions, beliefs, or actions.

Present: Suggest options for how to proceed. You may have to begin the process again at this point if the other person doesn't react positively.

Ask for Action: Ask the person what she thinks or which option is best for her. Help her choose, for her own reasons, a better way to proceed.

The unspoken anxiety that often accompanies new working relationships can mire people in long-lasting and potentially paralyzing conflict. Establishing trust, acknowledging common bonds, and actively attempting to understand your new colleague's point of view can help you liberate the team's collective energy to dig in to the task before you.

John W. Gunkler consults with organizations in planning and implementing strategic change in their systems and processes. The concepts above came from Wilson Learning Worldwide (www.wilsonlearning.com).

 

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